A branch on my tree......

It looked quiet and unattended when I entered the Emory University Catholic Center.  I was reluctant to enter the premises. I quietly knocked the door once and noticed that it was unlocked. It looks like a house yet again? filled with religious books and crucifix gathered around the living room. I tiptoed soundlessly and called Father D hesitantly. 

No answer...

I called him again....

No answer.......

...I was alone....no one was around.....

Carelessly, I was exploring in a timid way, intrigued of what was in those books hanging around the shelves. Everything was religious books. I didn't touch any of it; instead, as I was taking all of this in,  I saw this huge comfy couch and simply sat on it. 

I felt relaxed and the quietness of the place made me feel more at ease. 

I was there waiting for almost an hour and I didn't even feel bored. I was quiet.

I heard Father D's voice coming out from the stairs at the back of the center.

I felt delighted.

I heard him say goodbye to one of his colleagues, then walked towards me in a tirelessly manner. 

He was wearing his Collarino shirt;  which is the standard dress shirt among priest, but has a standing black collar that is sewn to accommodate a white cloth or soft plastic insert, leaving a small white square at the base of the throat.

He smiled and said Hi and apologized for having me waiting.

With a huge grin on my face, I told him that I hadn't even noticed it.

He brought me on a tour around the center and I ultimately sat down in his spacious office where we started our conversation about the time when He visited my new home to bless it. 

After awhile, He then decided that we should walk outside in the beautiful weather and eat dinner, suggesting a place about 15 mins away.

I happily and excitedly obliged because going on a walk with him was an open doorway for us to get to know each other and I was enthusiastic about it. I was interested of getting to know him as a person and as a whole.

It was a really beautiful weather outside that day, not that cold, not that hot. The birds were chirping like they were singing, the trees were swaying in a slow motion like they were dancing, the wind breeze were in perfect harmony on our skin, soothing and caressing us like they are our friends, the flowers on the sidewalks were smiling for we passed by them and the sun over the beautiful blue sky were looking down at us, extending it's sunlight to bless our friendship that I felt is gonna blossom in years to come. It was just a perfect weather to walk. My shorts and my happy orange sweater fitted in on that moment of bliss.

We were getting to know while walking. I was able  to open up to him, giving him the ups and down of my life.

Ultimately, I tried not talking about the sad moments of my life because a new journey had already begun for me. A new life is blossoming for me and now is the moment I get to enjoy that feeling of freedom to learn more about myself; that feeling of being able to maneuver life on my own, gives me a lot of courage and confidence within me.

I'm free like a bird now and I can make decisions that will teach me more about life. I will succeed on something and I will fail for sure (but this time, it's all on me) yet it's gonna be a learning experience for me to grow as an individual. That feeling of; "I am not going to hurt anyone anymore except myself," gives me a lot of breather. 

I had left my married life with a new hope to sew what I haven't finished or never even started

 "Building me"

I had gone through depression where I guess I did a good job in hiding it. 

I had lost myself in the process of my marriage and it makes me sad because while I lost myself, I also lost the man who loves me. 

Our conversations were more happy and on a light tone. This time all I have left is my willpower to rebuild myself. In the future, I intend to get back what I had lost and get what I truly deserve in life.

I felt really comfortable with Father D and I thank God that once again He sent me another spiritual person to guide me in my life.  Father D is so open about life, his openness made me like him even more. 

I missed Father Yuen though, my other priest friend who already left for Germany. 

I was saddened by his departure but I knew everything were in perfect reasons. He came into my life when I was in the middle of my turmoil. Those times were I hated myself and was just totally lost in the darkness of woods. 

I was in the midst of crisis within me that affected my marriage tremendously. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror that time cause I hated the person I was. I felt so empty. I dragged myself from the shadow of darkness and tried aimlessly getting out to find some light, but I was going in circle. I was trying to breath cause not only I was hurting myself, I was also hurting the man that was with me and as a woman, I couldn't bear it, It wounded me more, worst than anything. I tortured myself. I was physically in but my soul were wandering somewhere in the deserted mountain. 

Father Yuen was there to remind me that I was still alive and still breathing and that I still have me.

Whenever I look back on those times, I could still feel the pain but now it's a different feeling because I am in the process of healing......I got out of that life with all my courage and of course with God's approval. 

It was God's time (not mine) to say "Go ahead". So I took everything with me of what I had left for myself; "The love I have for me". 

Not only that, I had left my old life with a beautiful goodbye, an outstanding growth within that turmoil and with God's proper blessings.

Father D came into my life in this new journey that I am taking but more on so, He is here in the time where I am healing. Maybe, He is going to assist me to walk with confidence equipped with my new outlook in life. A friend who is going to guide me on my spiritual journey. 

Every people comes into our lives as they say like seasons. They come and go yet leave us something that we would never forget. Memories and their teachings...

I am not close to Father D yet but our friendship started on that walk. That feeling of comfort that someone close with God is my friend made me feel more safe and secure to the path that I am heading to whatever it would be.

We are like a tree and our root is God, without our root we are nothing. And our tree needs to grow branches (the people that God sends in our lives); and in those branches there is a need to develop  leaves because without those leaves (of wisdom) we are empty.  We are in this life to be bruised and to be beaten, we are cracked and impaired as an individual. So we can appreciate the beauty of our growth and the beauty of our imperfection. The tree which is us reflected our own lives in its ground. 

So I need to stand tall and be strong like one. A strong tree never collapses in the middle of the storm and adversity. God will hold my feet to keep me grounded and He will make sure that I develop and grow beautifully, ultimately bearing healthy fruits to the people that I'm with and to those people whom I will encounter in the future. 

At this point of my life, I need water (my faith) to help me grow.

I'm sad because of who and what I had left behind but I am happy for I follow the path that God wants me to go....

Father D is one of my branches that will help and assist me in my own spiritual journey... whatever it will be, only God knows :)